The Non Cult Players Foundation

The Non Cult Players Foundation is a charity founded by Da Goals to help players who have failed to attain cult status.

History

The organisation attempts to provide education, training and occasionally euthanasia to the 20% of players not fortunate enough to generate massive amounts of popularity. Da Goals was moved to found the charity after witnessing the plight of a failed midfielder known as Deathbot 3000.

Controversy

Critics have argued that Da Goals embezzles all of the funds which are intended to help players. In response, Da Goals stated: "I've always been an ethical man. I apply my stringent moral standards to everything I do. That's why I only embezzle between 80 and 90 percent of the funds. Most of the Non Cult players are beyond help anyway so it's not like I'm doing much harm..."